Snort snort

It’s the year of the pig. Apparently it’s very fortunate to bear children in the year of the pig because they will be honest and happy. The firstborn is such a one. He is 12 in a few days’ time.

These lights are at Oxford Circus. So much more attractive than the revolting Christmas decorations hanging there last December.

year of the pig

Barking

The above piece of bark, part of the shed skin of a London plane, was picked up in the autumn for a school art project but never made it out of the house. This morning I put it on the kitchen table with some pieces of paper and experimented.

If it isn’t immediately clear what any of the pictures is supposed to resemble (and I assume that’s almost undoubtedly the case) you can click through to the flickr photoset to see the titles. Or just make up your own.

Not taking the biscuit

tulips

I watched the light drain from the day through the petals of the tulips on the kitchen table.

Beside them on the table was a cold mug of drinking chocolate, a thick and wrinkled skin covering its surface, and a packet of biscuits.

“Do you want to die?” shouted the secondborn.

It was a difference of opinion over the biscuits. Those on the table were not the right sort. I was ordered to go out and buy a different sort.

I had said no, and was sticking to it, had stuck to it for nearly two hours of screaming tantrum and was still saying no in the face of threatened annihilation.

I was very tired.

“Yes” I said. “Yes, I want to die.”

Roses, sugar and pomegranates

“Are you happy with your choice?” he asked as I straightened up from taking a picture of the serried ranks of roses.

A country accent, bright blue eyes, collar length white hair thinning on top and shabby clothes. He had a petite and exquisitely turned-out woman clinging to his arm. Black high heels, flawless makeup, long black coat. His question seemed serious.

roses are red

“Well, I like the picture but I don’t like the roses” I replied, after a pause for thought.

“Why not?”

“Well, they look far too artificial. Too many petals crushed into too small a space. They look forced, as though they can’t breathe. They’re a bad shape. And the colour,” I added, warming to my theme, “there’s too much dark blue and purple in it. They look bruised. Battered. Attempting perfection and failing.

“I’m sorry…” suddenly catching a glance of the expression on the woman’s face, “these are just my opinions and I’m sure many people feel differently about them.”

“No, I’m interested”, he replied, folding, unfolding and refolding a small piece of paper in his hands, a receipt perhaps.

“But daddy!” the woman exclaimed in a voice which carried not the trace of an accent but betrayed her youth. I realised with a shock that she was in her very early teens.

“There are lots of other roses”, she said. “What about those?” She gestured to a bunch of buds in a sepulchral shade of near black.

“What do you think of them?” he asked.

“Too gloomy. They look like they’ve come off the set of a gothic film.”

His daughter had let go of his arm, presumably exasperated by the sudden complication of what I assumed was supposed to be the purchase of a valentine’s gift for her mother.

“What I’m worried about his how much they’re going to set me back” he said, rather grimly, as he again mechanically folded and unfolded the piece of paper.

“Well, this is Liberty, so whatever you buy will probably be the best of its kind”, I offered as the only consolation against excessive outlay I could think of.

“As well as the most expensive”, I thought as I shook his hand and left them examining the display, relieved he hadn’t asked me what I would choose.

sugar is sweet

Outside the tube station an altogether different approach to the rose trope. What would I choose here? The red-pawed cream bear holding a bunch of artificial roses? the rose-patterned-cellophane wrapped pink fluffy heart with “I love you” stitched in curlicues of scarlet? Or the string of flashing fairy lights twined with a creeper of blowsy rose-red plastic-petalled blooms?

As difficult a decision and no doubt involving products with a similar hefty mark-up albeit starting from a lower base price. Choices, choices.

Tomorrow, valentine’s day, I go to a mediation meeting to discuss the Solomonic topic of splitting the children. Not to mention the property. I’m perhaps not best placed to appreciate the current proliferation of roses, whatever form they take.

and so are you

What I would choose, if I were asked, would be a bunch of pomegranates. Ripe with symbolism I should choose to think of the story of Persephone and the revolving of the seasons.

But I shouldn’t think about it too hard because there’s all sorts of mother-daughter shit which would do my head in. And besides I would be too busy fiddling around trying to eat the damn things. Have you ever tried getting all those hundreds of seeds out?

PS Don’t forget to enter the Global Voices Valentine’s Day Poetry Contest! Even a cynical old saddo such as I might have a go, probably the very best antidote available for rose-overdose.

Rain in the 'burbs

I took the wide-angle lens out today as I went about my business. Which, when one has children, is everyone else’s business too. A parent approached the secondborn at the school gate this morning and after some discussion she was persuaded to ask him round to play with her son this afternoon. “I’ll call your mum” she said. “Oh you can’t call her now, she’s talking to her psychotherapist” he replied.

Sigh.

I went to see the film Bamako this evening – the gala premier no less!

green park bamako

I was actually within two feet of Danny Glover for about ten seconds and couldn’t think of anything to say to him.The film itself is very interesting – stunning, stunning visually and with some great music. It’s didactic too, strongly so. And it’s being marketed strongly by Christian Aid as an “end the debt and reform the IMF and WB” campaign tool including a petition.

Bits of it absolutely didn’t work for me. And other bits were breathtaking. The latter outweighed the former and it’s definitely worth seeing.

Rain in the ‘burbs

I took the wide-angle lens out today as I went about my business. Which, when one has children, is everyone else’s business too. A parent approached the secondborn at the school gate this morning and after some discussion she was persuaded to ask him round to play with her son this afternoon. “I’ll call your mum” she said. “Oh you can’t call her now, she’s talking to her psychotherapist” he replied.

Sigh.

I went to see the film Bamako this evening – the gala premier no less!

green park bamako

I was actually within two feet of Danny Glover for about ten seconds and couldn’t think of anything to say to him.The film itself is very interesting – stunning, stunning visually and with some great music. It’s didactic too, strongly so. And it’s being marketed strongly by Christian Aid as an “end the debt and reform the IMF and WB” campaign tool including a petition.

Bits of it absolutely didn’t work for me. And other bits were breathtaking. The latter outweighed the former and it’s definitely worth seeing.

Blogumentary

I’ve just spent, according to the timer, one hour five minutes and twenty four seconds watching this video, and it felt like five minutes. (That could have been due in part to the fact that it was seamless watching on Google video unlike my usual, frustratingly staccato, viewing experience on YouTube.)

It’s a really great documentary made by blogger Chuck Olsen about, yes, you’ve guessed it, blogs and blogging.

It’s divided into several thematic areas but the overarching importance is that of the conversational nature of blogs. At one point Chuck attempts to define blogging for his girlfriend and includes making comments as part of the activity.

Particularly interesting to me were the sections about the relationship between blogs and the mainstream media. Several times the point is made that bloggers and journalists are not the same thing. Jeff Jarvis of BuzzMachine makes the point as does Chuck himself: “I may be the media but that doesn’t mean I’m cut out to be a journalist”.

The section on Stuart Hughes‘s blog struck a big chord with me. He started blogging as a way of keeping in touch with friends and family while working as a television news producer in Northern Iraq, but soon gained a much larger and wider audience of people who found “a sense of daily life, a much more realistic and human perspective” on the events which they weren’t getting from the mainstream media.

Which is exactly where I feel blogs have so much to offer in the breaking down of prejudice and the fostering of understanding. And why the work of organisations like Global Voices is so exciting and important.

However Stuart’s story nearly ended there when he stepped on an anti-personnel mine and as a result had to have his leg amputated below the knee. He survived and his blog became “an outlet for frustration and pain”, and somewhere he found support.

As did the blog of one of Chuck’s friends when she felt suicidal.

As does mine.

If you haven’t got an hour to spare there are individual sections of footage on the left sidebar of Chuck’s Blogumentary blog.

Thanks to Krista for the link.

Dewy youth, shrivelled age

dewy youth, shrivelled age

Guess which one I feel like.

This has been adjudged the runner-up for the picture of the day. The winner is redder. Which might have something to do with the colour preferences of the conscripted judge, who had also been out and about with a camera, but earlier than I by the look of things.

In case anyone has missed this story, it snowed today. A few centimeters. But enough to close the second-born’s school and cause something of a vital nature to “blow up” on the first-born’s morning train.

I don’t recall taking any pictures last time it snowed to any extent in London and unfortunately by the time I got out and about everything was mostly dripping rather than glittering. Still, better than a poke in the eye, as they say.

Rabbit rabbit

One of the pinnacles of my (brief) tenure as arts correspondent was covering an exhibition of knitting of which the highlight for me was “Domestic Interior” by Janet Morton. Despite the walrus-like harrumphing and spluttering of various (male) members of the newsroom the item was run at least once, as far as I can remember.

A delightful former colleague and fellow yarnivore has drawn my attention to the excellent Ming Yi Sung and her wonderful crochet which drew more than harrumphs from certain workers at the building it was being exhibited in. The video below tells the story of Public Art, Private Parts.

A certain amount of burrowing about on the internet reveals what has to be my favourite of her works so far:

White Rabbit

It puts a different spin (hook?) on Alice in Wonderland doesn’t it. I’d certainly dive down a rabbit-hole after that statuesque creature despite my history of lagophbia. I wonder what he’s got in that front-cottontail. Maybe I have a preference for bucks over does. I hadn’t thought of that before.

In the process of torture… a new take on an old scam

United Nations Development Programme (UNDP)
Street Address: Building No. 153, Street No. 13
Area 102, Hay Abi Nawas, P.O. Box 2048 (Alwiyah), Baghdad – Iraq.
Communication Numbers: Tel: + 964 1 8874321/5, 8860383, 8862587
Fax #: + 00 964 1 8862523

Hello,

From: Group Capt. Usman Bello in Iraq.

With a very desperate need for assistance, I have summed up courage to contact you., I found your contact particulars in an address journal. I am in search for a credible private individual, organization or a reliable company overseas, for joint business venture.

I am Group Captain Usman Bello of the UN on Monitoring and Peace –keeping mission in Baghdad-Iraq. On the 20th day of November 2006, we were alerted on the sudden presence of some Terrorists camping in a suburb not too far from Karbala here in Iraq. After immediate intervention, we captured three (3) of the Terrorists, twenty-six (26) were killed leaving seven (7) injured.

In the process of torture they confessed being rebels for late Ayman al-Zawahiri and took us to a cave in Karbala which served as their camp. Here we recovered several guns, bombs and other Ammunitions including some boxes among which two contains suspected nuclear weapons, one filled with hard drugs (cocaine) and the other four to my amazement contain some US Dollars amounting to $10.2M. After I and two of my junior intelligent officers counted them, I however instructed them to keep this in high secrecy.

I am in keen need of a “Reliable and “Trustworthy” person who would receive, secure and protect these boxes containing the US Dollars for me until my assignment elapses here in Iraq. I assure and promise you will not regret this deal. However feel free to negotiate what you wish to have as your percentage in this business. Assure me of you keeping this in utmost secrecy to protect my job with the UN Monitoring and Peace-Keeping mission. I will be waiting to hear from you as soon as possible to proceed.

If you are interested to work with me in good faith and honesty, get back to me. Endeavor to let me know your decision rather than keeping me waiting.

Please provide me with your information:

Your Full Name:
Home Address:
Office Address:
Telephone
Fax:
Alternative Email:

Thanks in anticipation of a favorable response.

Sincere regards,
Group Captain Usman Bello.

United Nations Development Programme (UNDP)
Street Address: Building No. 153, Street No. 13
Area 102, Hay Abi Nawas, P.O. Box 2048 (Alwiyah), Baghdad – Iraq.
Communication Numbers: Tel: + 964 1 8874321/5, 8860383, 8862587
Fax #: + 00 964 1 8862523