All I want for Christmas…

is my two front teeth.

Or, more accurately, the two in the top jaw, left-hand side, that are giving me extreme grief. One is rotten and the one next to it, which seemed perfectly healthy, has just been reduced to half its previous width after a shattering experience with a stone in a piece of bread. I spat out many small splinters of enamel and dentine like a cat given pepper.

At the moment the newly naked stump doesn’t appear to hurt. Maybe it’s in shock. But the new sword-sharp edge is already criss-crossing my cheek with little nicks. Its rotten neighbour hurts intermittently – sometimes not at all, other times agonisingly. I have no idea what that’s all about.

How much longer, I wonder, am I going to have to wait for the promised certification which will allow free dental care? Despite the promise more than a week ago of immediate dispatch (along with some actual – gasp – money) nothing has appeared.

My grandfather apparently sat down heavily on a folding chair the year that one of the many versions of the above song was released. The chair duly folded and he knocked out his front teeth on his knees.

So it could have been worse. But I still want to go to a dentist, preferably well before Christmas.

links for 2007-10-19

Not entirely eyeless

It’s true that I feel adrift and discombobulated without my camera. There is no stand-in whilst it’s being mended since I traded in all my other gear to get it.

But… I have my phone! which has a camera more sophisticated than my first digital snapper. So all is not lost. I do not have to attempt to assemble words, slippery slithery creatures that they are, wriggling down into the sediment of my mind and leaving only blurred coiled casts which disperse with the following moon.

This morning on the way to school secondborn breathed a barely-audible “wow” as we turned a corner in the park. The sight was superb. Long, low, warm light reflected off thousands of tiny spheres of silver scattered thickly across the grass which was punctuated by gleaming pools of orange leaves lapping around the trunks of flaming trees.

“It is beautiful isn’t it”, I murmured in response, appreciation of the sight mixed with maternal pride at the obvious acquisition by spawn of the beginnings of an aesthetic sense.

“What is?” he asked, absently. Turns out he’d been contemplating the workings of a particularly sophisticated replica gun he’d seen on the internet.

dew

This was the nearest I could get to capturing that dewy moment, some time later on the return leg. And only after my carefully selected leaf had been trampled over by not one but two marauding hounds.

Every day I pass this thick clot of what I take to be white road-marking paint spilt onto the pavement.

big hit

At some point before it completely dried I presume an itinerant piece of newspaper blew over and got stuck on it. The negative newsprint has survived months, if not years, of feet and weather, its message tantalisingly incomplete. Only today did I actually pull out the phone and take a picture of it.

ready to pounce

This camouflaged and predatory van, on the other hand, is not a familiar resident and is probably visiting from a neighbouring habitat.

Recently on one of the miscellaneous photoblogs I follow I read the following wise advice: Learn to enjoy beautiful moments when you don’t have a camera with you. That’s something I aspire to. As is a practical grasp of point 97: A better camera doesn’t guarantee better images.

Cough.

Another thrilling installment…

It is a mistake going to the supermarket in the morning. It is relatively empty, this is true. It is mainly populated by the insomniac early-rising elderly who shuffle around slowly leaning on their trollies as though slightly unreliable zimmer frames. (I am indistinguishable from them in my somnambulant gait and glazed expression.) The queues at the checkouts are not very long. However the “reduced for quick sale” sections are utterly empty. Denuded by bargain hunters such as myself the previous day they have not yet been restocked with produce reaching its sell-by date in the ensuing 12 hours.

I really like these sections. Not only do you get staples at a reduced rate which you can shove in the freezer for future reference if appropriate but also there are items which it wouldn’t normally occur to me to buy. Best of all, though, is the posh stuff, the really poncey products made with organic this and hand-reared that and witty cartooned packaging on faux-recycled brown board. Price reduced to the realm of reality it is often pleasing to take such things home, prepare and discover that they don’t taste much better than the bog-standard version and sometimes, due to the eccentricity of their heterogeneous exotic ingredients, worse.

The bog-standard supermarket “own brand” version of things, usually called “value” or “basics” or something equally encouragingly frugal (certainly not “bog-standard”) is readily distinguishable by its uniform packaging. Crisps, chewing gum, tinned tomatoes, orange juice, sliced bread – all the same livery.

At my nearest supermarket each product is also emblazoned with a jaunty little slogan. The Cornish pasties, for instance, tell me “a bit more veg, just as tasty”. This is clearly code for “microscopic amounts of meat”, but that doesn’t bother me. It was the multi-pack packet of crisps which annoyed. The “how we claim to save money without making it taste too much scuzzier than the expensive stuff” part of its dyadic utterance proclaimed “no fancy packaging”. Oh come on, give me a break. Do you mean to tell me that all these carefully balanced little bons mots were dreamt up by the staff during their lunch hours? Such sloganeering doesn’t come cheap down the local PR company, I’ll be bound.

And while I’m being annoyed, why is it, I wonder, that the recently-introduced clothing range does not cater for children over the age of 10? It’s very annoying not to be able to get cheap basic trousers, t-shirts, underwear and pyjamas for firstborn at the same time as secondborn. There is nothing between age 10 (and very very few items available in that size anyway) and adult. Makes no sense.

Yes. I really have written an entire post about going to the supermarket. My life moves between the sinuous confines of the three Ss – supermarket, school and shrink. They are all within a mile of my house, albeit variously south, east and north. Thank goodness for the vast landscape of the internet. And please let my camera be mended soon.

Night

Last night I dreamt I salved my lover’s lips, sore with kissing, while he lay sleeping. Dipped a finger into scented balsam of beeswax and honey, curled a glistening whorl on the back of my nail. Licked his mouth carefully, like a cat would a small spill of milk. Swept the curves where mouth meets skin, followed the fullness, finger painting over tongue primer. Then kissed him gently, sharing warm balm from sweet lips.

Spooky trees

scream

I’ve never had a problem with trees. Quite the reverse – they’ve always featured prominently and positively in my life. Symbols of strength and refuge, protection and patience, enduring and recovering from the terrible wounds inflicted on them by people and circumstance, beings of great beauty, exciting climbing frames and providers of delicious fruits and nuts.

I’ve found it difficult to locate a seriously malevolent trope among tree mythology and folklore. See, for instance, the wonderful Forests and tree symbolism in folklore which is part of a series of papers on Perceptions of forests. Of the myths the most widely prevalent through time and geography is the all-embracing world tree:

The World Tree is a motif present in several religions and mythologies, particularly Indo-European religions. The world tree is represented as a colossal tree which supports the heavens, thereby connecting the heavens, the earth, and, through its roots, the underground. It may also be strongly connected to the motif of the tree of life.

The tree of life?

The tree of life is a mystical concept, a metaphor for common descent, and a motif in various world theologies and philosophies. In mystical traditions of world religions, sacred texts are read for metaphorical content concerning the relationship between states of mind and the external experience of reality. As such, the tree is a manifestation/causal symbol – the Tree of Life representing the coveted state of eternal aliveness or fulfillment, not immortality of the body or soul. In such a state, physical death (which cannot be overcome) is nevertheless a choice, and direct experience of the perfect goodness/divine reality/god is not only possible, but everpresent.

The same centrality is obvious in folktales:

Some are cautionary tales about the perils of cutting down forests. In others, humans become transformed into trees. Trees appear in dreams. They sing and talk. They offer consolation and convey special powers. In many of the tales, a tree serves as teacher or guardian of the truth. Characters who sit under a tree or climb up into a tree are suddenly inspired to set out on a journey or receive a decisive insight. Enchanted beings, both helpful and forbidding, emerge from forest places. The world itself is shown to emerge from a tree. And, on a lighter note, noodleheads and fools are snapped to their senses through an encounter with a tree.

My particular favourite is Why Death is Like the Banana Tree.

Possibly the best-known actively malevolent individual tree is the fictional Old Man Willow created by JRR Tolkein in The Lord of the Rings:

Old Man Willow cast a spell on the hobbits (Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin), causing them to feel sleepy. Merry and Pippin go to lean against the trunk of the willow and fall asleep, while Frodo sits on a root to dangle his feet in the water, before he also falls asleep. The willow then traps Merry and Pippin in cracks of its trunk and tips Frodo into the stream, but the latter is saved by Sam, who, suspicious, manages to remain awake. After Frodo and Sam talk about possibly burning the tree so that it is frightened enough to release the others, Merry yells from inside to put the fire out at the risk of the tree squeezing them to death. They are saved by the timely arrival of Tom Bombadil who ‘sings’ to the ancient tree to release Merry and Pippin. The tree then ejects the two hobbits.

He is said to be a Huorn, a race of tree-like creatures similar to Ents:

They are vengeful, but their methods of exacting revenge are unspecified; people do not leave the forest if the Huorns do not let them. Huorns can create darkness to conceal their movements and are capable of moving quickly. They still have voices and can speak to the Ents, but unlike Ents, they do not seem able to speak intelligibly to other races.

eye

But Tolkein himself was distressed by any assumption that he was portraying trees in a negative light, as shown by this excerpt from one of his letters:

With reference to the Daily Telegraph of June 29th, page 18,1 feel that it is unfair to use my name as an adjective qualifying ‘gloom’, especially in a context dealing with trees. In all my works I take the part of trees as against all their enemies. Lothlórien is beautiful because there the trees were loved; elsewhere forests are represented as awakening to consciousness of themselves. The Old Forest was hostile to two legged creatures because of the memory of many injuries. Fangorn Forest was old and beautiful, but at the time of the story tense with hostility because it was threatened by a machine-loving enemy. Mirkwood had fallen under the domination of a Power that hated all living things but was restored to beauty and became Greenwood the Great before the end of the story.

It would be unfair to compare the Forestry Commission with Sauron because as you observe it is capable of repentance; but nothing it has done that is stupid compares with the destruction, torture and murder of trees perpetrated by private individuals and minor official bodies. The savage sound of the electric saw is never silent wherever trees are still found growing.

The spookiness of trees appears to derive less from their individual nature and more from when they are found in numbers – forests. Tolkein named one of his fictional forests, Mirkwood, after the forest of Norse mythology, Myrkviðr. The trope of an enchanted forest is widespread:

Such forests are described in the oldest folklore from regions where forests are common, and occur throughout the centuries to modern works of fantasy. They represent places unknown to the characters, and situations of liminality and transformation.

The dangers of forests even today are not to be underestimated. Only three years ago was India’s notorious bandit Veerappan killed after a more than two decade of activity in a large area of forest.

The unknown, uncharted, possibly gloomy or dark and potentially threatening can of course give rise to all sorts of fears and lead to thoroughgoing panic:

Legend has it that one of Pan’s favorite diversions was to torment ancient Greek travelers traversing the byways of that once-forested land. Pan would lie in wait, concealed in the bushes, awaiting his unwitting victims. When a traveler passed by his hiding place, Pan would gently rustle the bushes, engendering a sense of apprehension in the person walking by. The traveler would pick up his pace, and Pan would then scurry through the forest to intercept his quarry at the next dark turn of the path. There, he would rustle some more vegetation, and the traveler would make even greater haste as Pan’s amusement grew. By this time, the traveler would begin to breath heavily, and his heart would begin to pound, and the sounds of his own quickening footsteps would be magnified in the stillness of the forest to resemble those of a pursuing wild animal. One more rustle of the bushes from Pan and the traveler would be hurtling as fast as he could run along the dark and narrow forest path. It took no more provocation from Pan to keep the human interloper in Pan’s forest kingdom from fleeing as quickly as possible. Never would the unsuspecting traveler re-enter the forest without experiencing a wave of apprehension. Thus did the term panic originate.

One of my favourite representations of such a panicked state is Mole‘s foray into the Wild Wood in The Wind in the Willows. How familiar all the adjuncts of arboreal terror are – the rustling of leaves; cracking of branches underfoot; sighing, soughing, squeaking and wailing of wind in branches; the looming, moving shapes that appear full of eyes and faces, limbs and weapons.

face

It would seem that spooky trees are, mostly, what we have made them.

[This is my submission for the forthcoming Festival of the Trees which will be a special Halloween edition at Windywillow. Submission instructions can be found here. The current edition is up at trees, if you please.]