Oh dear god (twice)

This is so, so wrong in so, so many ways. (Sock knitting pattern via F.)

Him: Not only did you knit me these terribly socks, you’re now forcing me to be photographed in them. I’m going to kill you. I’m going to blow your head off with my rifle. At point-blank range. Which is why I don’t need the telescopic sight. So it doesn’t matter that it’s upside down.

Her: Oh don’t be so ungrateful. And stop yapping, can’t you see I’m having sex with the dog? His horn’s bigger than the one under my arm.

And on a completely unrelated subject we move to the real smell of teen spirit.

That, I am shocked to discover, is a genuine TV advert. It is for a product called Dark Temptation.

Soon after I awoke this morning it was apparent that not just the teenager’s pits (and no doubt every square inch of his body) but the entire house – every single room, even those with closed doors including my bedroom – reeked of “chocolate effect”. (He even refuses to wash his hair with shampoo using instead the similarly branded shower gel because “it smells better”.)

I have retaliated with WD40 and the house is now delicately scented with “essence of lube”, but I can’t oil my bike in the hall every day.

How long does this phase last? does anyone know?

6 Replies to “Oh dear god (twice)”

  1. Drummer boy uses the same brand but thankfully exotic flavours have not made it to France as far as I know. The concentrated fumes from the downstairs bathroom are strong (my daughter still favours unsubtle smells) but at least the mix is not as confusing now that he has left home. As far as I can tell, judging by my beloved’s perfume choices for flavouring his essential oil baths…they never grow out of it!

  2. This reminds me of a John Travolta movie, “Micheal” (1996), in which he plays the archangel Michael who is irresistable to women because he smells like freshly baked cinnamon rolls.
    That’s about all I remember about the movie–it seemed pretty psychologically pluaisble, though I’ve never seen marketers of men’s prefumesuse it.
    Until now.

    Oh–the other bit of the movie I remember is the angel resurrects a terrier that’s been hit by a car.

    I love your metareading of the sock ad.
    So, come to think of it, it was a GREAT movie.

  3. This is all most discouraging. I fear he *has* seen the ad, but still sprays the stuff on with abandon. Coincidentally before having seen it myself I bit him on the chest after a theatrical hunting down of the chocolate and even this hasn’t put him off. Oh well. Forewarned is, um, underarmed.

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