From the ridiculous to the sublime

I would say even if he’s not the love of your life, make sure he’s someone you respect intellectually, makes you laugh, appreciates you … I bet there are plenty of these men in the older, overweight, and bald category (which they all eventually become anyway).

If you’re doing some sort of exercise regime any doctor will say a brisk walk of 22 minutes is a good thing for everyone to do once a day, so if you do a brisk walk to this, that will have served its purpose no matter what words have been heard. It is only the story of a large overweight Englishman trying to go round a boat and breaking his arm. That’s really all there is, there’s no philosophy, no history, there’s no social truth to be extracted from that melancholy experience. It is what it is.

…we live in the past or in the future; we are continually expecting the coming of some special hour when our life shall unfold itself in its full significance. And we do not observe that life is flowing like water through our fingers, sifting like precious grain from a loosely fastened bag.

The grand ideas and the despair at being nobody all belong to that world where nothing ordinary has value, that world of flickering Ahrimanic desperation.

From the blinkered space between sleep’s hangover and the numbing cold of a grey morning, look up… and up, and back and see the ordinary, extraordinary patterns on the sky. Zoom lens: eyes, then feet float up towards the tree-tops. Cool, dreamy clarity of Winter shapes.

And so the answer I’d give in response to Annette’s request that I describe my life in six words or less would be the following Zen-inspired definition of consciousness: an endless series of random stimuli. Some folks wait until their dying breath to see their life flash before their eyes, but I say watching your life is as easy as walking down a graffiti-covered alley or flipping through the virtual pages of an electronic photo album, the accident of your life appearing in all its random glory.

Deep down, can we know ourselves to be cut from the same cloth as the blue of the sky, the purple of twilight, the liquid gold of setting sun?

The eye with the thousand arms

So the Canon camera was named after Chenrezig! (the latter being the Tibetan name for the Bodhisattva which has, let’s face it, a serious multiple-manifestation situation):

In 1933, when Precision Optical Instruments Laboratory was established, the name given to cameras manufactured on a trial basis at the time was Kwanon. This title reflected the benevolence of Kwanon, the Buddhist Goddess of Mercy, and embodied the Company’s vision of creating the best cameras in the world. The logo included the word with an image of “Kwanon with 1,000 Arms” and flames.

It’s an interesting assumption that “creating the best cameras in the world” is a reflection of infinite mercy.

I sometimes wonder, vaguely, about the nature of my compulsion to take photographs.

walking the dog

How the desire to capture, preserve, reproduce, hold on to something of a moment might be a form of grasping, in the sense of the second of the Buddha’s Four Noble Truths:

Suffering’s Origin (Samudaya):
“Now this … is the noble truth of the origin of suffering: it is this craving which leads to renewed existence, accompanied by delight and lust, seeking delight here and there, that is, craving for sensual pleasures, craving for existence, craving for extermination.”

Is it grasping, I wonder, to remember and regret the time when there was a Tunnocks Tea Cake wrapper flattened onto the pavement in the shape of a ballerina swirling long red and white striped skirts and I didn’t have my camera? To remember and regret that I could not hold onto that moment, skewer it with a lens and pin it in the display cabinet that is flickr? Was it not a moment, like all other moments, to be lived in fully and succeeded by the next moment of the present continuous?

Then I looked at this teaching of Ajanh Sumedho on BuddhaNet, part of a series on The Four Noble Truths:

For example, I’ve always liked beautiful scenery. Once during a retreat that I led in Switzerland, I was taken to some beautiful mountains and noticed that there was always a sense of anguish in my mind because there was so much beauty, a continual flow of beautiful sights. I had the feeling of wanting to hold on to everything, that I had to keep alert all the time in order to consume everything with my eyes. It was really wearing me out! Now that was dukkha, wasn’t it?

I find that if I do things heedlessly – even something quite harmless like looking at beautiful mountains – if I’m just reaching out and trying to hold on to something, it always brings an unpleasant feeling. How can you hold on to the Jungfrau and the Eiger? The best you can do is to take a picture of it, trying to capture everything on a piece of paper. That’s dukkha; if you want to hold on to something which is beautiful because you don’t want to be separated from it – that is suffering.

And there’s also this:

When you really see the origin of suffering, you realise that the problem is the grasping of desire not the desire itself. Grasping means being deluded by it, thinking it’s really ‘me’ and ‘mine’.

Now we’re getting somewhere. This reminds me of something Tom Montag wrote recently about making music with friends:

I am playing music and sometimes the music plays me… And if we’re lucky, the songs will play us.

And, if I am luckier still, that bass will play me, and I will have found the last instrument I’ll ever need to buy.

When the music plays you, there’s nothing you can do but keep on playing, keep on playing, and hope it doesn’t end.

It is that magical limen of un/intentionality where the conscious mind seems to cease operating and a synthesis occurs between the internal and external, when with sudden sharp hot stink of fox It enters the dark hole of the head.

Or the dark hole of the camera. The boys call my camera the “black hole” because, they say, no light escapes from it. I prefer to think of it as a conduit porting light from one place to others.

That is how it is, sometimes. The world in all its infinite infinitesimal glory. “Look, look at the beauty. Love it. Rejoice, revel, revere.” That is how it is sometimes.

It's me (apparently)

While we’re on a roll of offspringing today Firstspawn suddenly lunged for his iPod saying “you must watch this, you must you must, it just so reminds me of you”. And this is what he played.

It is, I ascertained on further questioning, the 20 seconds or so from about 45″ in where the resemblance is most strong. The clenched-hand, tooth-gritted determination to stay calm whilst all about small demonic ninja-creatures determinedly wreak mayhem.

I was completely delighted at this recognition of my almost super-human (obviously nearly simian) efforts to cultivate equanimity. What a long way I’ve come!

When I do snap, which of course I do, I have not yet mastered the eye-popping evisceration techniques of Buddhist Monkey but perhaps, if I try really hard, one day I’ll be able to emit cosmic rays from my third eye and put an end to civilization as we know it.

I don’t know whether to be relieved or dismayed that apparently the level of “cartoon violence” in the two Buddhist Monkey episodes is ok but the rest of the Happy Tree Friends output is, according to our young critic, “just sick”.

Sigh.

It’s me (apparently)

While we’re on a roll of offspringing today Firstspawn suddenly lunged for his iPod saying “you must watch this, you must you must, it just so reminds me of you”. And this is what he played.

It is, I ascertained on further questioning, the 20 seconds or so from about 45″ in where the resemblance is most strong. The clenched-hand, tooth-gritted determination to stay calm whilst all about small demonic ninja-creatures determinedly wreak mayhem.

I was completely delighted at this recognition of my almost super-human (obviously nearly simian) efforts to cultivate equanimity. What a long way I’ve come!

When I do snap, which of course I do, I have not yet mastered the eye-popping evisceration techniques of Buddhist Monkey but perhaps, if I try really hard, one day I’ll be able to emit cosmic rays from my third eye and put an end to civilization as we know it.

I don’t know whether to be relieved or dismayed that apparently the level of “cartoon violence” in the two Buddhist Monkey episodes is ok but the rest of the Happy Tree Friends output is, according to our young critic, “just sick”.

Sigh.

Breakfast conversation

Me: You know last night we were having a fascinating conversation about favourite words?

Secondspawn: Yes?

Me: So what’s your favourite word?

Ss: Lava!

Me: Lava? why?

Ss: Because it’s only got four letters and it sounds like it’s got more.

Me: ??

Ss: It’s spelt L-A-A-V, you see, which is only four letters, but it sounds like it’s spelt L-R-A-V-E-R which is seven letters.

Me: … aaah.

And just before the day is out, some valentine's links

I’ve always hated the day myself but at last have some equanimity on the subject. So here, in order of reading:

– Vaughan at Mind Hacks goes to town with a puntastic post on romance in the labs:

Psychiatrist Donatella Marazziti and her colleagues measured levels of a protein that transports the neurotransmitter serotonin in the blood of 20 people who had recently fallen madly in love, 20 people with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and 20 healthy comparison participants…

She found that the group of patients with OCD and the recently love-struck were no different in terms of the serotonin transporter protein, suggesting the brain began to function markedly differently as love blossomed.

So love is an obsession, a compulsion. (And is it only me who thought that the previous post, “Faking a labour of love”, was about something other than the subject written about?)

Moving swiftly on, how about love as slavery… K at Flickering Lamp has an excerpt on The Way to Love:

People have become so much a part of your being that you cannot even imagine living a life that is unaffected or uncontrolled by them. As a matter of fact, they have convinced you that if you ever broke free of them, you would become an island–solitary, bleak, unloving. But the exact opposite is true. How can you love someone whom you are a slave to? How can you love someone whom you cannot live without? You can only desire, need, depend and fear and be controlled. Love is to be found only in fearlessness and freedom.

Want to buy roses as a statement of fearless and free something-or-other? Well either you should or you shouldn’t ensure they’re from Kenya.

The UK government says buying flowers from developing countries creates jobs and reduces poverty.

A recent study indicated roses flown to the UK from Kenya produced fewer emissions than roses grown in Holland in heated greenhouses.

But campaigners say some workers suffer long hours in poor conditions.

What’s an ethical consumer to do? Don’t ask me, I don’t even like cut roses.

However what I do like is dispensing with valentine and adopting friendship – as well as doing it yourself. Marja-Leena does both:

Hauskaa Ystävänpäivää!

This morning, on the way to school, there was a young man at the crossing wearing a black sweatshirt emblazoned with large white letters:

LOVE IS FOR SUCKERS

and, front and back, a bright red perforated and bleeding heart. I pointed him out to the boys with some amusement and, perhaps, approval. Unfortunately this was too much for the young man in question who then stood stooped and sideways on to us exuding embarrassment and pink cheeks.

Fearlessness. That’s the key. Or one of them. Possibly.