I was reviewing the year’s events and felt the top three ranked as follows:
1. I have not killed myself (despite intermittent strong compulsions to do so).
2. The children have had their physical needs (probably) and emotional needs (possibly) met (mostly) (maybe).
3. I am not in serious debt (generally due to good luck rather than any sort of management).
But below these somewhat ambivalent three is a great raft of unequivocally positive things, and I wanted to write them down.
– The boys. How I love them.
– Being accepted as a Samaritan, completing the training, doing the job. It makes me feel like a real mensch.
– My friends. All of you. How extraordinarily lucky I am. Such kind, generous, thoughtful, supportive, funny, clever, exciting, brilliant people. Thank you. I am overwhelmed with gratitude.
– My meditation practice. More honoured in the breach than in the observance, but a work in progress.
– The UK’s welfare state. I seriously doubt I would be alive without it.
– Knitting. Particularly making things for people. Difficult to convey to a non-knitter, I think, the extraordinary soothing and therapeutic qualities of this simple repetitive action; the massive geek-quotiant of the binary permutations; the visual and tactile pleasures of yarn – and how social-networking might have reached its apogee with ravelry.
– Taking photographs.
– The creatures. How I love them.
To be. Rather than not to be. Without question.