Secondspawn is shornspawn. Last night I took the clippers to his curls.
The results, as might easily have been predicted, pleased nobody. Neither Secondspawn nor I liked the length (very short due to his mother’s egregious failure to acquire a qualification in trichological control); neither Firstspawn nor I enjoyed the 40 minutes or so of continuous maximum volume screaming with which Secondspawn greeted his appearance in the mirror.
This morning peace prevailed* but the weather was cold and (another fact which will come as no surprise to those with children) not a single hat was to be found of the formerly enormous collection of Arsenal and Nike headcoverings which littered the house. He walked, uncomplainingly, to school with his little ears shrivelling with cold.
Thus it was that I was galvanized to complete the Red Light Special which I started back in April last year (on holiday in the camper van… sniff sniff) and which has been languishing for months complete but for the darning in of its ends.
Being designed for an adult head it has the advantage of entirely covering the ears of a spawn, and he seems rather to like it.
* Firstspawn informs me that this is because he told Secondspawn he looked just like Brad Pitt and Brad Pitt had been voted the sexiest man in the world and therefore Secondspawn was mollified. He also confided that he wasn’t exactly certain whether Brad Pitt had really been voted the sexiest man in the world but he thought it might be true.