Cool and shiny

So you’re out and about, as you are, and there’s a bangin’ choon winding down the aural canal from some boomin’ sound system. “That’s a bangin’ choon” you think to yourself. But you’re waaaaaay too cool to, like, ask what it is. Or you’re hearing it in a lift and there’s nobody available to question. Whatever. Either way help is at hand:

shazam - cool and shiny

Yes, you really can dial a number on your mobile to access large numbers of autistic obsessive-compulsive music-loving elves a machine to “listen” to the said choon, identify it and text back the relevant details. But at a price, as you can see. However the service is impressive given the non-mainstream nature of the track it was tested on. (The video is extraordinary. Mr Vek is a man unconcerned with image, I would guess.)

So that’s the cool and the shiny. Also not hot, but in a bad way, is the experience of hanging round on dating sites.

Im seeking a lady who is in need of mutual pleasures, Im hoping for regular meetings, friendship is also important to me, Im 56yrs Slim with a well toned body, a nice tight bum, and reasonably well endowed
Im have average looks, Im clean

says one hopeful.

At many cases I am romantic, and like good conversations with anyone normal person, but in bed I like to face big boobs

says another.

It’s been a long time (a very long time) since I was last on the market and “dating” isn’t something I’m familiar with. Looks like that’s not going to change any time soon. I’ll just have to keep ogling trees instead.

slinky-dress twirling tree

scream 3

whistling tree

Please, no jokes about getting wood. This is a forest we’re talking about, Epping Forest to be precise, which I visited with nehavish. That was definitely cool and shiny.

11 Replies to “Cool and shiny”

  1. Pining for a pinus? Needled by a lack of cones? Visit fir4free.com.

    But what would I do with an ent in the obviously extremely unlikely event that one turned up?

    (Thanks Dave!)

  2. I have to ask: is “shiny” authentic British slang, or did you pick it up from the sci-fi series Firefly (which did all sorts of strange things with language)?

  3. Dave, I think I acquired “shiny” from the web… probably via gadget websites… but it’s so expressive that it doesn’t need explanation. Unlike “meep”.

    Karen you guess correctly. Currently on offer at the LRB is a house-of-harlot showgirl-seeker and a lightly-bearded demi-centenarian.

  4. The eighteen year old with whom I was trading massage a lot this fall always said “shiny,” the way we used to say “cool.” I’d never heard it before, but I fell into using it, after a while; as you say, it’s a natural.

  5. I’d say give me a nice tree any day, shiny or otherwise.
    I’m still waiting for the website or software where, when you’ve got a bit of a maddeningly unidentifiable tune in your head, you can sing it into it and it will tell you what it is.
    You’re going to tell me it exists now and everyone who isn’t hopelessly backward and non-branchee (hey, cross linguistic tree pun there!) knows all about it…

  6. I’ve heard some of Tom Vek’s stuff before and it didn’t make much of an impression on me, but I like that track a lot. Great mix of twitchy/neurotic and organic/fluid. Sounds like it could have come from Talking Heads’ Remain In Light, apart from the accent.

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