…oh what a beautiful day. Yesterday, now. But even the passing of midnight hasn’t lessened the effect.
How extraordinary to feel happy. Really, it is extra to the ordinary. Such a surprise, a novel sensation. Almost frightening in its intensity.
And what can have caused this? I have absolutely no idea. It could have been the weather – sunny outside and not so cold inside hunched over the keyboard that I had to wear sheepskin boots and two fleeces. Maybe it was the long sleep – I didn’t wake up until after 11am. But both these conditions have been met on other occasions and not resulted in joy.
There is no extrinsic cause I can discern for this mood. And intrinsic? How could I tell? The chemistry of my brain is a mystery to me.
I’ve been enjoying it like a pebble off the beach sun-warm in my hand, small and flecked with surprising colours. And the day has just got better and better. Superb music redolent of the time I finally escaped from home; work achieved; laughter with friends; children delightful; far-away friends phoning out of the blue; more superb (and utterly appropriate) music.
The only photograph I have from the day is this one, taken on my phone outside the post office.
The doll reminded me of the only doll I ever loved whom I called, who knows why, Pandora. I remember sitting under the ironing board in the kitchen with Pandora in my arms while my pressed clothes above my head. In a patch of sunlight.